Last week, I dreamed that Benjamin Franklin, among his other achievements, had invented a time machine that had just transported him to the present. He showed up on my doorstep, bewildered and blinking. He had already taken apart and rebuilt two car engines on the street and had made ”social advances” to two women, whereupon he was promptly pepper-sprayed, fogging up his spectacles.

Dear Neighbor, 

Do restless dreams ever keep you up at night? Lately, I cannot rid my sleep of deep trips into my subconscious. Because I study history, most of my dreams involve historical figures or events, which is why I wake up feeling sad, depressed, and speaking in ancient Egyptian.

Last week, I dreamed that Benjamin Franklin, among his other achievements, had invented a time machine that had just transported him to the present. He showed up on my doorstep, bewildered and blinking. He had already taken apart and rebuilt two car engines on the street and had made ”social advances” to two women, whereupon he was promptly pepper-sprayed, fogging up his spectacles.

Because it was Ben Franklin, we chatted about inventions and politics while his eyes cleared. “I miss Philadelphia, the nation’s capital, where I spent so much of my life,” Franklin reflected. “I certainly hope it is as secure as it was in my day.” “Well,” I said, ” The Capitol is now a place called Washington, DC, and the National Capitol building was breached and vandalized on two occasions, August 24, 1813, and January 6, 2021.” Franklin was aghast. “I certainly hope those ruffians paid a high price!” “Oh,” I answered hesitantly, “the first time was during a war with Britain that pretty much ended in a tie, and the second involved, well…. United States citizens. And they pretty much got away with it after just a bit of time in jail.” Franklin was flabbergasted.”How on Earth…” he began. “It’s called a presidential pardon,” I finished.

“But worry not, it is not like one can get away with anything,” I said. “Why, millions of dollars are being spent to arrest illegal immigrants, legal immigrants, people who look like immigrants, and anyone who helps immigrants.” “My father came to America from somewhere else,” Franklin gasped, “Is the country closed?” “Well……” I paused. “The important people seem to think so, and one of them is all it takes. We are pretty much accustomed to one-person rule at this point. If you had been elected president, would you unilaterally raise tariffs and name Federal buildings after yourself?”

“Wait, no, when we wrote the Constitution, we gave that kind of power to Congress,” Franklin chided. “Has the Constitution been changed?” “It’s not like that,” I said, “but imagine a time when Congress and the Supreme Court allow the President to pretty much do anything he wants, the Constitution be darned.”

“My Republic!” Franklin cried. He fainted but was caught by an electric, heated lounge chair he had assembled since coming inside the house. I shook him awake.

“We must protest!” Franklin shouted when he regained consciousness and whipped out a mini-printing press that he must have kept in his voluminous coat. “We will post broadsides!” he said defiantly. “It would be much better if you put that on social media,” I replied. “And don’t forget to make up some lies about how horrible your opponent is,” I said. “People love that.”

“Enough!” Franklin sighed. “I am going back to a time that better fits with my ideals!” “Okay,” I said, “just don’t go to the Civil War era. It was much worse.” “How so?” asked Franklin, putting a hand on his head. “Following their states,” I replied, “several Southern officers in the U.S. Army left it and turned around and started shooting at the men they used to lead.” “Traitors!” Franklin yelled. “I hope they were justly punished!” “No, no, no,” I said, “it is fine to shoot at U.S. soldiers. Today, we name military bases after those guys.” Franklin fainted again, crashing into his printing press and soiling his coat. This time, for his sake, I let him sleep.

“Dear Neighbor” authors are united in a belief that civility and passion can coexist. We believe curiosity and conversation make us a better community.